Lessons Learned

...a few tid bits I've learned since being a parent...

#6. Take advice with a grain of salt
Advice that I critique the most is from those closest to us. Advice from those not close to us is easy to accept or dismiss, since they don't know Gavin well. Advice from those close to us, I usually take as criticism of us not doing something "right." I've learned over the past few months that advice is just that...advice. It isn't demands of things we HAVE to do, it is a suggestion and I need to not feel bad about it. We're his parents and we will be doing things the way we feel he needs.

#5. It's OK to wing it.
I've read some mommy blogs where mom is going to do A, B, C with the baby before they are 6 months, bring them here, there and everywhere. They always have a plan and are always trying to stick to it. Any mother out there knows, plan and children don't belong in the same sentence. It's OK to play it by ear, not have a plan and just "wing it." 99% of the time, things work out even when you don't have a plan or your plan just doesn't work out.

#4. I've become an "act now, think later," kind of mom
Today I was in Babies 'R Us and all hell broke loose. It was amazing how quick I was able to run around the place gathering the things I need, wipe Gav's nose every 5 seconds, feed him a snack and survive one major breakdown (and one minor one from me). I didn't have Kleenex nor did I have snacks for him to eat. I had a t-shirt in my purse which was used to wipe his nose before he wiped it all over the cart and himself. I managed to grab the closest edible item within arms reach and fed him while I finished running through the store. The calm was restored when we got in the car and we drove home in silence to recover. Situations like these are becoming more frequent as he gets older.  Sometimes...or most times, you've just gotta roll with the punches. Parenting is not predictable.

#3. It's OK to need help
 Before I even had Gavin, I was told over and over again to "take help when it's offered." My initial thought was that "we've got this." After-all, we planned it, expected it and anticipated the challenges. Let me just say, I would have been lost without all of the meals people brought over afterwards, daily visitors helping to keep me sane, grandparents who came to cuddle baby while I napped and a husband who always gave me breaks. I am now thankful for everyone who is able to watch Gavin for us so we can get out, friends who understand my limited flexibility and always come to us, grandparents who watch him twice a week and save us thousands in daycare over the year. It didn't take me long to learn that it's alright to need help and if you don't ask for it, people don't know you need it!

#2. "Me time" has a whole new meaning
I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend 5 minutes just sitting in my car some days before picking Gavin up. I can't hardly wait to see his huge drooly smile when I pick him up, but sometimes I just need to unwind and get myself together before putting on my mommy cape. I don't want to be a half-assed parent. I want to be involved, loving and "on" as much as I can. I don't want to let my days frustrations boil over to him. Ever.
 My point is that I've learned that "me time" comes in more than girls nights out or doing projects that I've been dreaming up for months/years. It means going to the bathroom alone, showering alone, getting 5 minutes of quiet time, being able to go on a walk in silence, go to the gym for a half hour. It's nice to enjoy the simple things in life.

#1. Mother (almost) always knows best
Humans have a reaction mechanism for a reason. We react to things because we feel a certain way about them. I react to people around my son (good or bad) because I have a vision of how I want him to be treated and people around him to act (or just to act around children in general). I also know when something is wrong with him...sometimes before he even knows. I can tell when he's getting sick, I know when he's tired, hungry and cranky. On the other hand, I don't always know. He's spent several nights screaming bloody murder in his crib for a good 20 minutes. He's changed, fed and not visibly sick. I don't know what is wrong with him but we will sure as heck try anything we can to make whatever is bothering him better.
Another example of this is a situation that happened earlier this April. Easter Sunday, Gavin wasn't feeling well. He was lethargic, not eating much and overall cranky. He went to my moms house the next day since I didn't feel comfortable for him to go to daycare and we both had to work. She called me several times throughout the morning telling me he wasn't feeling too good and maybe he should see the doctor. I told her that she always rushes him to the doctor and he'll be fine. She called me for the fourth time and said, "I'm telling you, he really needs to go to the doctor." I hadn't seen him since Sunday night since I left early for work Monday. I finally said OK and met her there with him. Thankfully we did go in. The look on the nurses face when she saw him was memorable. They even said, "we've never seen a baby this sick." His oxygen level was low as he wasn't breathing well. He just lay flopped over my arms, exhausted and defeated. Long story short, he spent the next week in the hospital with a serious illness and I can't thank my mom enough for pushing me into bringing him in.

On that note, TGIF!

The Pounds